Did you know that one of the (only) four things that raise female interest is a thing called PRESELECTION?
Preselection basically means that if a woman believes other women are interested in you, she will like you more…
And it can be extremely powerful when it comes to male/female dynamics…
So, in this article, I want to make a very important distinction about preselection that can really help you when it comes to attracting and keeping a high-quality woman…
And then, after we talk about that distinction, I’ll answer a question about preselection from a top student so we can go even deeper into this subject and get even better results with women.
Here’s the thing:
A lot of guys think that they need to date a lot of women in order to be “preselected” or show a woman that they have a lot of women in their life or that they’re pursuing many women in order for preselection to work.
And that’s not really how it works…
What Preselection REALLY Means…
Preselection does not necessarily mean that you’re currently dating lots of women or that you’re interested in lots of women.
Preselection just means that a woman thinks other women on her level are interested in you.
And it’s about women being interested in you; not you being interested in them.
For example, one of the reasons women are attracted to Leonardo DiCaprio and famous musicians is because they know many other women on their level are also interested in those guys.
It’s not the only reason but it’s a powerful one…
And they might not ever even SEE another woman with a guy like that or know whether or not he’s even dating anyone and it still works because the fact that he’s “preselected” is assumed and implied.
For preselection to raise a woman’s interest in you, she just has to think that other women are probably interested in you.
So you don’t have to post super obvious photos of you with tons of women to appear “preselected…”
In fact, if a woman gets even the slightest whiff of a hint that you are trying to show her that you are “preselected,” it will backfire big time and she’ll lose interest in you.
Also, telling her about all the other women you like isn’t a good idea (because, again, it’s not about the women you like; it’s about the women who like you).
In fact, it’s better if she never actually sees you paying attention to other women and she just feels it deep down in her bones without ever consciously perceiving it.
So, all you have to do is ACT like you would if many women were interested in you and she will assume that you are preselected and that’s what makes her more interested in you. <==Read 3X…
Because, one more time: This is NOT about YOU being interested in other women…it’s about other women being interested in you.
Now, on the other hand, when your behavior shows her that you probably don’t have other women who are interested in you, that lowers her interest in you.
So, here are three quick ways you can make sure preselection is working for you at all times even if you’ve never had a girlfriend before:
1. Whenever you’re deciding what to do in a situation with a woman, ask yourself:
“If I had 8 beautiful, amazing women that I really liked texting me and asking me out constantly AND I also liked this woman a lot, what would I do then?”
Then, follow your own answer.
I call this the “Golden Question” and it’s a great rule-of-thumb.
If you consistently follow it, preselection will be working for you behind the scenes like a dedicated, silent, invisible female-interest-raising wingman.
Bonus: Ask yourself, “If I had 8 attractive, awesome women interested in me right now, would I enjoy being with this one and keep dating her? Is there something unique about her that I really like? Or, would I spend more time with the other 8 and drop her?”
2. Qualify her…
Listen, if you’re on a date with a woman and you DON’T ask her open-ended questions to get to know her more because you have specific standards for the kind of woman you want to date and you want to see if she meets those standards over the course of several dates before you get too excited about her, she will assume that you are NOT (very) preselected.
Why?
Because if you truly have lots of options in terms of the women you can be with (you are preselected) you’ll have specific things you’re looking for in a woman beyond looks…
Because many good-looking women (on her level of looks) are interested in you, so, if you’re going to spend a lot of time with one and commit to one, then you have additional things you want in a woman.
And you won’t keep dating a woman who doesn’t treat you well or who doesn’t have those things.
Make sense?
Excellent.
So, to make sure preselection is working for you in the background, think about what you want in a woman beyond looks and then actively look for those things on your dates instead of just giving a woman 100% of your interest before you even know her.
If you do that without being a jerk about it (you’re looking for the right woman for you; not judging women as “good” or “bad” in general), she will feel it and it will work for you.
3. Move slower (like you’re not hungry or in danger)…
This one might seem small but it can have a big impact:
When you’re with a woman you’re interested in, move slower…
If you do, you’re signaling preselection (you’re NOT needy…why? Well, one reason could be that many women are interested in you = preselection).
So lean back when you’re talking to her instead of leaning in and out of the conversation…
When you turn your head to look at something, do it s.l.o.w.l.y…
Blink slower…
Grab your drink and take a drink slower…
Walk a little slower…
Etc.
Don’t be too affected by the environment around you, fidget, or jerk your body around.
Communicate with your body that everything is good with you and that there’s not a lion chasing you…
You have all the time in the world and you’re not focusing on any particular outcomes.
All of these things signal preselection (and some of them also communicate other female-interest-raising qualities as well).
And that means that if you do them all, she’ll feel like she’s the special winner out of all the women you could have chosen to be with when you finally commit to her after 8-12 weeks because you like her specific personality and character traits vs. getting rid of you at some point when she starts thinking you have no other options so you’re settling for her or you’re only interested in her for her looks.
Remember: You’re the kind of guy your ideal women are interested in.
If you believe that and ACT like it, preselection will always be working in your favor…
Even if there’s only one woman you’re interested in right now.
And, if you don’t believe it, do whatever it takes to get there so you can enjoy the success with women that you deserve and so your ideal woman can finally fall deeply in love with a great guy – you.
Does Preselection Work if The Women Who Like You Are Less Attractive Than the Woman You Want?
So, now that we know a lot more about preselection, let’s go one level deeper…
Here’s a question I got about preselection from a top student recently:
“Dear Jim,
I have a question about Preselection…
Does it work backwards?
I went swimming at a lake with some friends tonight. I was interested in one of them in particular…
To make her more interested in me, I invited a different friend to come who is somewhat less attractive than her (lower maturity, less physically fit) but who is interested in me in an attempt to show preselection.
It seemed to work out really well!
I was surprised at how effective bringing a less attractive friend to the activity raised the interest of the more attractive friend.
It got me thinking…Does Preselection work backwards?
For instance, if I am interested in a particular attractive woman would it lower her interest if women who are less attractive than her like me, or would it have no effect on her interest in me because they aren’t on her level?
Thanks!
Sincerely,
J.M.”
This is definitely an “advanced” question that highlights how preselection works even more…
Here’s my reply:
J.M.,
Here’s the bottom line:
Another woman being interested in you will NEVER make a woman less interested in you (unless you act on it in a way that turns her off)…
This phenomenon (preselection) has been causing problems for millennia when all of a sudden a woman’s best friend or sister starts liking the man she’s dating when she wasn’t very interested in him at first. =)
And this is also why once you have a girlfriend or a wife you start to notice women checking you out more and paying more attention to you…
It can be a very powerful force.
See, the woman who already likes you has already put you through her “female filter” so the new woman doesn’t have to…
Preselection is like a shortcut to attraction that cuts out some of the normal steps in the process.
So, yes, if a woman is within a point or two of another woman, and it’s obvious that she likes you, that can spark preselection in a more attractive woman.
And, honestly, it works in general…
I mean, if your office has 7 average women and 1 super attractive one and all 7 average ones like you and always pay attention to you and laugh with you, etc. that might pique the interest of the more attractive one.
It’s just more powerful if the other women who are interested in you are on her level – it increases the pleasure she could get from “beating” them, increases how good she can feel about herself if you choose her out of all your good options, and increases your “value” in her mind.
Any other women being interested in you can trigger preselection in the woman of your choice…
It’s just that it’s more or less powerful depending on the context.
Alright sir, I sincerely hope this discussion was helpful…
Remember: It’s harder to attract one woman than it is to attract them all.
Reflect on this for the rest of the day and then put it into practice in your real life so you can reap the benefits.
Even (especially) if you just want to be with one amazing woman.
And ask yourself the golden question over and over and then act accordingly as often as possible.
You handsome devil you. =)
Until Next Time,
Jim
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