When it comes down to it, whether you want to be with a woman for one night or for a lifetime, what you’re essentially doing is facilitating her feelings of attraction and love for you.
You want her (positive) EMOTIONS toward you to grow.
And, when a woman isn’t interested in you, she tends to ignore you because she usually doesn’t feel anything toward you at all (even hatred).
So, dating and relationships are in large part about FEELINGS (=EMOTIONS)…
If a woman is interested in you at least a little bit, that means that she at least feels something for you…
If that’s the case, you can take it from there.
And, of course, what we want to do is INCREASE her feelings of attraction and/or love.
Or, at the very least, avoid decreasing those feelings.
So here’s the big question:
How can you expect to facilitate her feelings if you haven’t gotten a handle on your feelings yet?
The key is this:
The more you master your own emotional life, the easier it is to facilitate a woman’s feelings, whether you want to attract her for one night or for the rest of your life.
Plus, one of the biggest forms of value you can offer a woman as a man is SELF-CONTROL (a big part of internal strength, which is one of the 4 male qualities that raise female interest).
In other words, you have feelings too, you don’t deny or resist them, and you’re not a robot…
Yet, you still take the correct actions most of the time no matter how you’re feeling.
You’re comfortable with your feelings and you’re also comfortable when a woman is experiencing all kinds of emotions.
A woman tends to experience a lot more emotions than we do so this “emotional control” where YOU are in charge of yourself and your life while your emotions are not can be a big relief to her.
It makes you her “rock” and makes her feel safe with you.
She knows she can go off into any of her emotions fully any time because you’re not going to fly so far off into space with her.
You’re like a flag pole and she’s the flag.
She can wave around all she wants while you stay firmly GROUNDED.
That is a masculine gift you can give to a female, but you can only give it to her if you are grounded, able to be fully present, and able to master your own emotions at some level first.
Remember: When it comes to dating a woman or being in a relationship with her, you are the EMOTIONAL LEADER.
Emotional Leadership = Attraction & Love…
I mean, not only is it your job to facilitate her feelings for you getting stronger over time, and not only is self-control a big part of making that happen, she also gets to feel how you feel when she’s around you…
If you feel good about yourself and your life, guess how she feels when she’s on a date with you?
And if you feel bad about everything….well, guess how she feels when she’s around you?
Exactly.
(And, if you (genuinely) love yourself, then she probably….(you get it now)).
So, all of this is just to say that YOU SHOULD GET A HANDLE ON YOUR EMOTIONAL LIFE FIRST so that you can be a good emotional leader with women (you should do it for you first, of course, but let’s be honest – attracting women is a good motivator for us haha).
Otherwise you will have problems down the road.
Plus, one thing I’ve noticed over the last 20+ years or so of closely studying this stuff is that, except for being exceptionally wealthy, famous, or good-looking etc., a man can essentially ONLY attract a woman who is equally or less emotionally mature than he is right now. Or, perhaps, one level above where he is now in some cases. <==Read this underlined part 3x…
This is just an observation and I could be wrong but I believe it’s closer to the truth than not.
I mean, sometimes a very emotionally mature woman will be with a guy she’s super interested in for some other reason…
That does happen.
But, in general, the level of woman you can attract in terms of emotional stability and maturity is your level or below.
Especially if you want to keep her around for a long time.
Again, because you are the EMOTIONAL LEADER.
And, again, to be the emotional leader we should get a handle on our own emotions FIRST and then share that strength with the women we date.
So, how do we do that?
Well, that’s a deep rabbit hole to jump down to be honest…
But for the purposes of this article I want to give you 3 quick tips and tools that will make it easier to handle your emotions properly that you can start applying immediately.
And then I’ll post some links to additional resources if you want to go deeper.
Sound good?
Awesome.
Here are 3 Tips/Tools to Get a Better Handle on Your Emotions:
1. Feel all of your emotions fully…
Because what you resist persists.
Emotions are just emotions; there’s not really a “bad” or “negative” emotion – this is an interpretation.
It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, frustration, embarrassment, etc.
In fact, it’s NORMAL to feel these things when the situation warrants it.
So, it’s all about how you deal with and process these emotions.
And, if you allow yourself to feel ALL of an emotion FULLY when it comes up, it tends to dissipate…
While if you resist it and think you shouldn’t be feeling it/it’s bad to feel that way/YOU’re bad for feeling that way, it tends to stay with you much longer and start causing you more issues.
Now, here’s the thing:
If you’re bringing in situations from the past into the present, that can make your emotions bigger than appropriate for what’s actually happening right now…
So, if you have baggage from the past that you’re dragging with you, seek help if you need to in order to drop that baggage and be more PRESENT.
2. Take your emotions as INFORMATION…
Because that’s all they are.
Your emotions are not you.
Emotions are simply giving YOU information that you can use to make decisions and take actions.
You are bigger than they are (more on this in a minute).
So, when you’re feeling something, ask yourself:
What is this feeling trying to tell me?
Is there something I should or shouldn’t do?
Or can I say thank you to the emotion and dismiss it?
For example, you might feel super attracted to a woman, so your feelings might be telling you to double-text her…
Yet YOU know that’s not a good idea, so you acknowledge your feeling (yes, we like her a lot) yet you still control yourself and don’t do it (we’re not going to ruin it).
That same feeling of intense attraction can tell you to go say hi to a woman – in that case you don’t resist it.
Or, if you get a gut feeling that something is up with a woman, you can ask her about it and see if your feeling is warranted; then you can take action according to what’s actually happening.
Remember: Emotions are just information; they form big a part of our decision-making process but we should also consider other factors.
And, if we train our emotions, they will become more accurate over time in terms of leading us down the right path when we have to act quickly instead of thinking about a decision.
The key point is that we don’t have to do what our emotions want us to do…
Sometimes we should; sometimes we shouldn’t.
Step back, take a look at what your feelings are saying, and DECIDE whenever you can.
Alright, last one:
3. You are an INFINITE EMOTIONAL CONTAINER…
I love this one.
It’s a bit esoteric but it’s powerful so bear with me.
When you think of you and your emotions, think of it this way:
You are the OCEAN and each emotion you feel is a DROP OF WATER.
You are not an ant while your emotions are a drop of water.
You have plenty of room to experience all of your emotions completely.
Just this simple mindset switch can change your life if you apply it consistently.
And, by the way, it happens to be true:
There is no emotion that can completely overwhelm you or cause you to cease to exist in any moment or situation, EVER.
Even if it feels that way and you’re afraid to let yourself feel it.
You can always handle it.
Especially if you’re not bringing in extra emotions from the past or future.
You always have the resources to handle what’s actually happening in this moment when it comes to your emotions.
I highly encourage you to adopt this mindset, allow yourself to FULLY experience every emotion you have, let them wash all the way through your body without resistance, figure out what information you can get from your emotions, and then DECIDE if there is anything you should do or not based on all of that.
That’s the FOUNDATION of emotional control and EMOTIONAL LEADERSHIP.
And not only does that make your life better in general, it also makes you more attractive to women.
Plus, when you acknowledge your emotions and feel them fully instead of denying them or resisting them, it tends to make you more relaxed and fun to be around in general.
So this is good for being more social in general…
Yet it has the biggest impact on our relationships with FEMALES.
And now you can be the EMOTIONAL LEADER that facilitates the right woman for you falling and staying deeply in love with you (or going home with you).
If you want to go deeper into this subject, you might be interested in the Attractive Male Control Internal Strength Training Program:
And, if you REALLY want to dive DEEP down this rabbit hole and master your emotional life (and you think you’re ready for that – this is an intense, 30-Day course that’s specifically focused on YOU and not on dating/relationships), then you might want to join us inside the L5B Emotional Mastery Program:
Alright sir, that’s it for now…
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
The Best-Selling System:
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