Imagine for a second a guy standing at the starting line of a marathon or a 5k, full of anticipation…
And then, when the gun goes off to start the race, he starts sprinting full speed and tries to keep sprinting the whole time.
What do you think will happen?
Will he make it through the whole race at that pace?
Highly doubtful. =)
He will either have to slow down or he will collapse at some point.
Now imagine for a moment going to Costco where they have lots of fun free samples spread out around the store to try out different food and drink items to see if you might want to buy some…
Except that, for today only, every single aisle has samples but instead of the normal bite-sized samples, the friendly Costco employees are all serving full 7-course meals with a full sample item as the main course or beverage. And you have to eat it all if you want any.
God forbid if you want to try 2 samples. =)
Well, these two thought experiments show us how most men approach dating…
And here’s the thing:
A woman falling and staying deeply in love with you is a marathon…
And, even if you just want hookups, it’s better to attract a woman using smaller bites over the course of a night or 2-3 dates than to start sprinting right out of the gate (it’s still more like a 5k than a 100-meter dash).
This concept is called “fractionation” and it will help you with hookups or with a long-term relationship.
It can be applied over the course of an evening if you want to spike a woman’s attraction to you quickly or, if you want a woman to fall deeply in love with you, it can be applied over the course of 2-3 months.
It even applies to business and other areas of life as well; the average consumer sees an offer 7 times before they actually buy something…
So why would dating be any different?
I mean we’re dealing with human psychology here.
So, instead of taking things so personally, zoom out a bit, look at it from the female perspective, and start applying to this idea when you’re out there dating, especially if you really like a woman so she can feel the same way about you (assuming she has some initial interest in you to begin with).
I mean, if I wanted to sell the BEST car in the world, it still might take someone seeing something about it 7 times before they actually go for it…
So why would we be so arrogant to think that a woman can see us once or twice and be fully ready to buy even if we’re the most amazing guy on the planet (yes, sometimes it’s like that for us, but women tend to fall in love slower)?
Here’s the thing:
If a woman is attracted to you / interested in you and you apply the concept of fractionation properly, you have the best chance of ending up in her bedroom or of becoming her boyfriend or husband.
And, most men want to sprint when they have high interest in a woman; so, it’s my job to train you to be an expert middle and long-distance runner.
We’re still running and moving forward; we’re just maintaining the pace that works with women.
And we’re not going to force-feed a woman our entire being to a woman in one serving…
We’re going to give her a little bit of ourselves at a time until she can’t help but buy what we’re selling. Kind of like Costco. =)
Fractionation just means that we tend to do much better with a woman if we see her 7 times for 1 hour over the course of 7 weeks than if we spend that same 7 hours with her on the first date…
It also means that we tend to better with a woman if we take her to 2-3 places for a shorter amount of time in an evening before we invite her back to our place than if we stay at one place for a long time and then invite her over to our place if we’re just going for hookups.
And, as the leader in this “dance,” it’s your job to understand this process and facilitate it for her, especially if you really like her instead of trying to sprint to the end of the marathon, leaving both of you gasping for air.
Attract Your Ideal Woman Using FRACTIONATION…
So, here’s how you do it whether you want an amazing woman to fall deeply in love with you or you just want to go home with that gorgeous woman standing next to the bar:
1. If you meet a woman at a friend’s party or a wedding, and you know she will be there for a while…
…go up to her and start a conversation. Then, after a few minutes, excuse yourself.
Then, after some time passes, start talking to her again.
And then ask for her number during your second conversation with her.
You can’t always do things this way because we don’t usually know if we will see a woman again or not (so ask for her number during your first conversation in almost all cases), but it’s better for you if you have 2 shorter conversations with her that same night than one long one.
This is fractionation in action.
Small bits at a time go down easier than a full meal.
Same thing goes if you’re in a university class with a woman:
You know you will keep seeing her every week, so we should wait a bit longer than normal before we ask for her number and ask her out…
Maybe not the whole semester, but asking for her number after 2-4 weeks is better in this case than doing it immediately after your first class with her because you will definitely see her again so we don’t need to rush (you can get her number right away and that can work of course. It’s just better for you and her if you’re able to do it later when you will keep seeing each other again for sure. Either way, getting her number and asking her out at any point is infinitely better than never doing it).
And now let’s branch this concept off based on your goals…
If you want a long-term relationship:
2. Make the first date SHORT and sweet…
You don’t need to put yourself on a timer that goes off during the date or anything, but 45 minutes to 1 hour is perfect for a first date.
Try not to let it go on longer than that.
This is your first, smallest sample of yourself that you’re offering her after your initial conversation with her or after meeting her online.
So, give her the most delicious, small piece of being with you that makes her want more of that.
She should feel like she didn’t quite get enough of you vs. getting tired of you.
Remember: The goal is to make it to the 3rd date (and then dates 6-10 where she’s fully in love with you if you do everything right), NOT to make the first date as long as possible.
And, yes, even (especially) if both of you are really connecting and having a good time.
Lead this marathon; don’t try to sprint face-first into rejection like most men do.
Give her a good sample of you; don’t ask her to eat the whole tub of ice cream immediately.
That’s why I suggest coffee dates or meeting for a happy hour for your first date; these kinds of dates make it easy to leave after 45 minutes to an hour without making things awkward…
Dinner takes a lot longer and nobody can leave until the meal is finished and the bill is paid. Plus, you’re both stuck there staring across the table at each other – with coffee you can go for a walk if you want.
So, save dinner and similar kinds of dates for the 4th date and beyond if at all possible. Be creative so you can finish the whole marathon vs. sprinting and losing momentum at some point.
3. Space out your dates…
You shouldn’t be going on a date with the same woman more than once a week or so.
Go have a great time with her (give her an amazing sample), wait 4-8 days, and then ask her out for your next date…
Then, give her another small sample (the first 3 dates shouldn’t be too long).
No full day or even half day trips, no “dinner and a movie” dates.
Remember: Always leave them wanting more…
That doesn’t just apply to show business; it 100% applies to female psychology.
I mean, what we want is for her to show up for your 3rd and then your 6th date…
And, if she already got all of you before that and you tell her all about yourself on the phone vs. saving that for when you see her in person…
…then why does she need to keep going on dates with you?
Exactly.
She doesn’t.
And, most of the time, she eventually won’t keep going out with you.
The only time this works is when she either has super high interest in you right away so you break even with this “too much too soon approach” or she has some issues that don’t allow her to relate in a healthy way so she’s okay with this unhealthy, unattractive approach.
If a woman has a normal level of romantic interest in you and she’s relatively psychologically healthy, you will never win this way.
Seeing a woman once every 7-10 days or so until you get to 10 dates over the course of 3 months is MUCH better for both of you than hanging out 10 times in 2 weeks.
Even if you spend the exact same amount of time together (this is what fractionation means).
This is true unless, of course, you don’t want her to fall deeply in love with you.
Then go ahead and sprint for that finish line and see if you make it. =)
If a woman has genuine interest in you to begin with, she’s relatively psychologically stable, and you use fractionation, she WILL increase her interest level in you more and more over time until she falls deeply in love with you (interest level 9/10 or higher).
Just make sure you follow everything we cover inside Attract and Keep Her and you will finish the marathon with a smile on your face and energy left over. Guaranteed.
Now, here’s how to apply fractionation if you’re just going for hookups:
2. Take her to more than one place…
So, if you meet her at a bar, take her to 2-3 more bars after that if you can and then invite her to your place or see if she wants to go to hers.
The strange thing about fractionation is that if you take her to 2-3 places vs. spending the same amount of time at one place, she will feel like she has known you a lot longer, which makes her feel more comfortable with you, which makes it much more likely that she will go home with you and hook up with you (assuming you are also building attraction with her).
You can also do this on your first or second date if it’s not possible when you first meet her:
Grab a coffee and head out for a walk. Then, stop in somewhere for a drink or a snack. Then, invite her over etc. vs. just sitting at dinner or a coffee shop for 1.5 hours and then saying, “Wanna get outta here?”
Or, grab an ice cream and stark walking with her toward your place if there’s a nice path or something on the way. Then, take her to a bar near your place along that path for one happy hour drink and a snack. Then tell her you have something cool to show her at your place and that it’s nearby. Etc.
Fractionation makes this smoother and easier and makes it much more likely she will come back to your place.
Alternatively, you can take her on a short first date and then invite her over to your place after your second or third date depending on the woman and the situation.
Fractionation can work in one evening or over the course of 2-3 dates when it comes to hook ups.
And, when you invite her to your place, just have something interesting you legitimately want to show her (a unique coffee table book, a piece of art, etc. – find something cool that you can use for this purpose and prepare your place by making sure it’s clean before you go out or go meet up with her) and invite her over so you can show her that thing and take it from there once she’s at your place.
3. Start the date at your place if you can…
If you’re just going for hookups one effective thing you can do if it’s possible and she will agree is to ask her to meet at your place before you go out on your date…
Then, once she’s there, just tell her: “Hey, I have to finish getting ready real quick. Make yourself at home. 2 minutes…”
Let her get used to sitting on your couch for a couple minutes (don’t do this too long).
Then, after a short time, tell her you’re ready and lead her out the door.
If you do this, she will feel a lot more comfortable coming to your place after your date (and her car is already there unless you live in a city with good public transport) so it’s easy and convenient for her to come in for “just a bit.”
This is fractionation because she feels more comfortable at your place if she sees it for 2 minutes before your date and then comes over after as well than if she just comes over after your date for 2 hours.
So, if you can pull this off, it makes things better for both of you.
And you can also do this on dates 2 or 3 depending on the situation.
Just make sure you follow the steps inside The Good Guy Guide on your date and once she’s back at your place after your date and you’ll be GOLDEN (and so will she – winners all around).
And, as a general rule, whenever you can break up bigger blocks of time into smaller ones when it comes to attracting a woman, DO IT.
Because fractionation is the way to a woman’s bedroom and/or her heart. =)
Alright sir, that’s it for today…
If you want to win the marathon that is a woman falling deeply in love with you, make sure you grab the Attract and Keep Her System if you haven’t already…
It’s marathon training for sprinters and is the best system in the world for winning this kind of marathon.
And, if you want to win the 5k that is hooking up with a woman as quickly as possible in a way that leaves both of you smiling the next day, grab The Good Guy Guide right now if you haven’t already.
It will have you hanging 5k gold medals on your chest left and right. 😉
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
The Best-Selling System:
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