Being a CHALLENGE Doesn’t Mean Being IMPOSSIBLE…

You have to build the tension until it reaches the right zone and then stop pushing it before the tension breaks.

We want to keep the tension in that beautiful zone where she’s attracted to you and she’s raising her interest in you…

In other words, we should do everything we can to maintain TENSION BALANCE.

And why do I bring this up?

Well, most guys don’t build up enough tension as I’ve said…

Or, they try to build tension with women who simply aren’t interested.

However, lots of guys who start learning how to be more successful with women forget the purpose of being a challenge and building tension in the first place and then it backfires.

It might sound obvious, but the end goal of being a challenge and/or building tension is actually attracting a woman:

1. Hooking up with a woman and having her feel amazing about it…

and/or

2. Allowing the right woman for you to fall deeply in love with you so you can build a satisfying long-term relationship with her.

It is NOT:

1. Trying to hurt a woman’s feelings for whatever reason…

2. Punishing women for not paying attention to you before…

3. Making yourself feel better by putting a woman down or rejecting her…

4. Rejecting a woman because you can…

5. Keeping yourself “safe” by knowing you “could” be with a woman but pushing her away instead…

6. Never actually being with a woman.

This is a tool for SUCCESS and HAPPINESS…

So, when the tension is high enough, we have to keep it there instead of continuing to push.

Because if you would rather push a woman all the way away from you instead of kissing her or getting into a relationship with her, then you’re running down the wrong road and missing the point.

That’s a waste of time and energy because we should only build this tension with women we are genuinely interested in in the first place (just move on if you’re not interested).

So the point is don’t “beat a dead horse” until she runs away or loses interest…

Build up that tension and be a challenge to the point where her attraction and interest in you skyrocket and then be prepared to pull it back/pull her in a bit whenever it’s needed as well.

So, for example, let’s say you’re a very physically attractive man…

If that’s the case, many women might already be intimidated by you when they meet you they and might already have high interest in you.

So take it easy on the challenging statements at first if that’s the situation you’re in.

Make a woman feel comfortable FIRST and then build up some more tension later by playfully teasing her once she feels relaxed around you.

On the other hand, if you’re not as conventionally handsome and you’re talking to a woman who’s used to tons of men hitting on her all the time, you can throw out a much more challenging line to spike that tension up higher at first and to see if she has any interest in you at all and then go from there.

Or, if you’re talking to a more “innocent” woman, tone down your challenges a bit as well.

Focus on PLAYFULLY teasing her and make sure she knows you’re joking.

And say things like, “Stop making me like you…it’s not fair.” =) instead of, “You’re a troublemaker aren’t you?” or “It’s too bad I’m not attracted to you at all or we’d be in trouble…”

But if you find yourself with a woman who’s not so innocent, let a more challenging line than you feel comfortable with fly out of your mouth without trying to stop it and watch what happens.

The key is to figure out where the tension sits right now, where you want it to be, and then push and pull your way until you’ve achieved TENSION BALANCE.

If you’re going for hookups, just follow the steps inside The Good Guy Guide to do this and, of course, follow the system inside Attract and Keep Her if you want to be in a long-term relationship with the right woman for you.

And remember that it only works if she’s genuinely interested in you to begin with (and if you want to be in a long-term relationship, she must also be available for this process to work).

And if a woman IS interested in you and you never build any tension OR you push it way too far, you’ll burst the “bubble” that is your connection with her, maybe forever.

Remember: A woman’s interest level just means how motivated she is to “get” you…

A woman’s interest level means how motivated she is
to get to know you, spend time with you,
kiss you, and be in a romantic relationship with you.

So think about female motivation in general and then apply it to yourself:

What motivates a woman to buy a pair of shoes?

Two main forces:

1. Desire…

She WANTS that specific pair for some reason(s).

2. Fear…

She’s afraid she might not be able to get that pair of shoes she wants so badly for some reason(s) (sale ends today; other women might buy the last pair before her, etc.).

And these same 2 motivations are why she’s motivated to get YOU as well:

She wants you…

And she’s not sure she will be able to get you so she needs to take ACTION to make it happen.

In a long-term relationship, she doesn’t want to lose you/she knows deep down that you could walk away any time and be fine – this is the other side of the coin beyond positive high interest. As “unromantic” as it might sound this is what keeps her on her toes.

If one of these 2 motivations is not tended to, she won’t raise her interest in you enough to break the tension and hook up with you and/or bring up being in a relationship with you.

If she knows those shoes will always be available for the same price from now until the end of time, she might wait forever before she gets around to getting them even if she likes them.

But if she wants them AND she has a reason to act, nothing can stop her from completing her mission…

So set up the situation where her mission is to get you and make yourself challenging but not impossible for her to get.

That’s the whole ballgame whether it’s for one night of bliss or a lifetime of partnership with an amazing woman.

And there’s tension balance in every individual interaction you have with a woman that you can pay attention to along with “meta tension balance” that applies to the series of interactions you have with her plus the time in-between interactions.

So, if you see that your playful challenges are not landing well because the tension is already pretty high, try to make her feel more comfortable and release some tension for a bit until she’s relaxed and enjoying herself…

And if you see that she’s losing interest over time, pull back a bit and allow that tension to build back up.

Or, if she’s losing attraction, throw in a playfully challenging line to spike it back up.

If she’s already super interested in you, just allow it and don’t do anything to block it/lower her interest…

If her interest is there but lower than that, then we must allow her interest to GROW.

Again, most of the time, even if she likes us a lot, we have to INCREASE her interest and therefore the TENSION but not always…

And we don’t want to do it too much or release it too soon.

Master the art of tension balance and be aware of it at all times because if you do you will always know what to do in any situation and you’ll get everything you desire when it comes to women.

And apply ALL advice you get about women to this concept…

So, for example, when it comes to playfully teasing a woman, that’s a great skill to have in general…

But it’s even better if you know exactly when and how much to tease a woman. <==This is critical and you will get more of a “feel” for this over time as you go out there and practice everything in the real world.

And once you have this feel for it, you can adjust what you’re doing on the fly without thinking about it too much.

Now, the coolest thing about TENSION BALANCE is that it applies to 2 major kinds of tension:

1. Sexual tension…

Building this up is key for seduction, hook-ups, and even for keeping attraction alive in long-term relationships.

No sexual tension = no attraction and pushing things too much past the breaking point also destroys sexual tension.

Instead, we want to build sexual tension and then allow HER to release it in the best way for both of you.

2. Romantic love tension…

Building this up is what raises female interest…

And instead of either never building any or breaking it ourselves, we want HER to break it by raising and directly telling you about/showing you her high romantic interest level.

We can lower this tension a bit when we ask her out on the next date (pull her in a bit because we push her away when we wait a while to ask her out again), but we want HER to be the one who breaks the tension. <==Read 3x…

So, telling her how you feel about her or asking her to be your girlfriend too soon releases all of the romantic love tension you’ve been building…

It pulls her in too much.

What we want to do is let HER break that tension first (by bringing up the idea of being in a relationship) and then ask her to be your girlfriend (because that’s how we know it’s the right time and that her interest level is finally high enough).

We just repeat the process of having an awesome time with her, backing up a bit and letting her think about us while the tension builds up a bit, and then after 4-8 days pass asking her on the next date until SHE breaks the tension by asking, “Hey, where’s this relationship headed anyway?”

And then, once SHE breaks the tension, THEN we pull her in and ask her to be our girlfriend.

This is the “goldilocks theory” of dating and relationships…

Not enough tension is probably the main problem men have when it comes to dating and relationships…

On the other hand, once guys learn how to build it up (or guys who can do it naturally), they tend to push it way too far and it breaks in some other way than the outcome we ultimately desire.

So, from now on, instead of ONLY thinking about how to be a challenge, think about how to push AND pull your way to success.

Pushing and pulling in the right amounts at the right time is the key to success with women and TENSION BALANCE is the goal of this push/pull behavior.

And now that you’re aware of this concept you can find that sweet spot where you always want to be and apply everything we talk about to getting there with the right women for you.

Alright sir, I sincerely hope this made sense and that you got something out of it.

Until Next Time,

Jim

Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book

The Best-Selling System:
Attract and Keep Her