One of my top clients and a guy I consider a good friend at this point asked me to prepare a higher-level, simplified “game plan” for your first interaction and your first couple of dates with a woman and then go over it with him on a call…
And, because he already owns the best-selling Attract and Keep Her system and has already had a lot of success following it, I thought to myself:
If a guy already understands and follows the steps inside Attract and Keep Her, what are the most important things to continually remind yourself about that will make the most difference in your first several interactions with a woman?
How can we boil this down even more?
And then, after thinking about it for a few days, I prepared some top tips that have the most impact on the first few interactions with a woman so you can become the most naturally attractive version of yourself with the least effort.
These are the things I used to constantly remind myself about when I was out there dating and I would go back to them again today if I was single at any point.
I wrote them down for my client and sent them to him after our talk…
And then, after I sent them to him, I decided that we could all benefit from these tips that separate you from the other men a woman has dated and give you a solid chance with her as long as you also follow the steps we cover inside Attract and Keep Her.
I didn’t want to hold back on sharing these with you just because you haven’t paid for a one-on-one call with me and I know that my client would want you to have access to these as well because he’s a really cool guy and wants everyone to be successful and happy.
So, I’ll go ahead and share them with you here now…
Think of this as an “advanced” lesson with high-leverage tips that can help you immediately and that complements everything else we cover around here:
9 CRITICAL Attraction Tips…
1. MINDSET: Who wants to enjoy life (this moment) with me?
When you first meet a woman and when you go on your first 2-3 dates, your mindset should be along the lines of: Who wants to join me on this adventure?
You’re relaxed and enjoying yourself FIRST and foremost and then you share those feelings with the woman you’re with.
We’re offering to share when we approach a woman; we’re not seeking anything.
We are already whole and complete, we aren’t seeking validation, and we already have a good life; we are looking for someone who is also awesome to share that life with.
This mindset makes you less needy and more attractive to a woman; it’s also much healthier for you.
2. “You look like trouble…”
This tends to be an opening line that works 95% of the time…women seem to love it for some reason.
As I always say around here, “Hi” is just fine or you might have other openers that work better for you, but give this one a try if you want.
It’s good for A LOT of reasons we don’t need to get into right now – so use it if you want or just do whatever you feel most comfortable with to get that conversation started.
Remember: She tends to feel the way you feel.
Women pick up on your vibe and respond to it or even mirror it.
So, if you feel like talking to her is awkward and difficult, she’ll pick up on that and probably follow your lead – she’ll feel uncomfortable too.
And, if you think talking to her is no big deal and could be fun, she’ll also pick up on that and will probably feel comfortable talking to you as well.
If she doesn’t, just move on.
She’s not going to shoot you for saying, “Hi…”
Give yourself a little room for some brush-offs so we can make it to the ones who want to engage with you.
And, if you’re nervous, that’s okay too…
Just be honest about it and don’t try to hide it because that makes things more awkward.
You can even open with that: “Hey, I’m a little nervous to come over here and talk to you to be honest but I wanted to see what you’re all about…”
Etc.
You can be comfortable with the fact that you’re nervous – she will also pick up on this.
#layers
3. After you start talking to a woman, either on your first date if you met online or the first time you’re meeting her at a wedding, bar, party, etc. make a COLD READ instead of asking her an interview question…
EX: “You’re a lawyer aren’t you…?” vs. “So, what do you do for work?” etc.
Always throw one or two of these into your first conversation with a woman because it makes it much more interesting.
Make it a habit.
You can do it RE: where she’s from, if she has brothers and sisters, etc.
4. ALWAYS always always ask for a woman’s number the first time you talk to her if you’re interested in her…
This should be a HABIT.
And, to make it smooth and easy, I would just hand her my phone with the “add contact” screen open without even saying anything. She knows what to do and why…
Or, you can say, “Put my number in your phone so we can meet up later.” <==This is cool because she will only text you so you can have her number if she’s interested…
Then you can take it from there.
5. Have a first date that you always go on with every woman…
For example, you can take women out for coffee for every first date.
That’s a perfect go-to first date.
Practice it until you master the whole 45 minutes and get it perfect every single time.
Practice what you’ll do if she’s 10 mins late, doesn’t show up, etc. Get everything down so it’s your TURF and you feel 100% comfortable no matter what.
We should be absolutely crushing every aspect of the first date – take control by having a solid go-to.
6. During your first conversation with a woman, make sure you tease her playfully AND make sure you QUALIFY her…
Qualifying a woman is a top pro tip for sure.
The difference between qualifying a woman and not doing it is huge and can really improve your connection with every woman you meet.
Qualifying a woman makes it much more likely that she’ll show up for your next date.
So, during your first conversation with a woman that’s more than a couple minutes (sometimes this will be on the first date if you met online or you just got her number and then texted her to meet up with a very short intro conversation – or it could be the first time you meet her), AFTER teasing her/small talk for a bit, SOLIDIFY the attraction you’re building by simply saying something like:
“You know, you seem really cool. Tell me, what’s something I wouldn’t know about you just by looking at you (or: if you hit the lottery jackpot and never had to work again, what would you do then and why?)?”
The seem really cool part PLUS the asking her to share more about herself part = qualification.
You are communicating that 1) You’re not just being silly – you also genuinely want to get to know her 2) She’s doing well with you so far 3) You’re not completely sold yet – you want to see more.
QUALIFICATION is a super attraction booster. This one is so important I could teach a class just on this.
Practice it until it becomes a HABIT for you – you can even do it when you meet men. Always tell people they seem cool after talking to them for a bit and see how they respond. With a woman you want to date, just add the open-ended question.
Then, of course, build some rapport by asking open-ended questions and letting HER talk as much as possible while you share back a little bit.
Remember: If SHE’S talking, that’s a strong indicator that she likes you.
Also, if she’s highlighting her good qualities she feels good and she’s selling herself to you at the same time = winning.
7. DO NOT LEAN IN AND OUT OF THE CONVERSATION (no pecking!)…
Sit back and relax – let her lean into you if she wants.
Practice this one until it’s a habit never to lean forward and back when you’re talking to a woman…
Very important.
8. When a woman gives you a hard time, respond as if she gave you a huge compliment: “Awww…thank you so much. That means a lot. =)” OR Ignore it completely with a smile in your eyes, OR exaggerate it to the extreme: “Yeah, I am a jerk…I LOVE kicking babies and puppies…especially at the same time…” =)
One line I LOVE: “Awww…you’re such a sweetheart. Have I told you lately how nice you are?”
The key is not to REACT to her silly little “negative” comments/tests. This one is also huge and can increase attraction A TON in the early stages.
She’ll be thinking: “FINALLY a guy who gets it and who’s secure. Yay!”
9. Lastly, as you know, keep it light and playful! No serious, heavy subjects. Let the FUN be your connection…
Avoid talking about serious, heavy subjects like religion, sex, politics, etc. during your first few interactions with a woman.
HAVE FUN with her and keep things light and playful as much as you can.
If you follow the above + the tactical things like waiting 4-8 days after a date to ask her out again, etc. you will be extremely attractive with a low amount of effort.
These are some of the highest leverage ideas and techniques for the early stages of interacting with a new woman.
Combine them with the principles and steps inside Attract and Keep Her and you’ll be golden.
Until Next Time,
Jim
Advanced Free Training:
Attract Women Without Words – Brad Pitt’s Body Language Secrets
How to Attract a Devoted Girlfriend or Wife – The Formula
How to Get Her Number and Text Her – Free E-Book
The Best-Selling System:
Attract and Keep Her
